Monday, October 17, 2011

How not to pray

I saw this today in a clip on Wretched Radio Clip. I couldn't help but laugh a bit because I know that I have prayed like this several times. I think the people at Acts 17 really helped in identifying some of prayer time traditions. They also did a great job in helping us see that a lot times we pray with our own biases and not according how God's Word says we should pray like. 

How Not to Pray - adapted by Wretched Radio

1. The Gossip
           Lord, please forgive Larry here for cheating on his lovely wife, she must be heartbroken

2. The Theologian
          Lord, you are immutable, omniscient, triune . . .

3. The Bore
          Lord, I just pray for my stamp collection. Please help me find my lost  . . .

4. The Lecturer
         Lord, forgive this congregation for failing to meet the offering budget again.

5. The Sons of Thunder
         Lord, smite that woman who cut me off on the way here with your scorching rebuke

6. The KJV Only Prayerer
         We beseech Thee in Thine tabernacle to forgiveth the bowels of our iniquity

7. Praying Without Ceasing
         You don't want this guy praying before dinner!

8. The Satanist
          Satan, I take authority over you and bind you

9. Reverse Humility Guy
           Lord, thank You for not letting me get too puffed up about being so good looking.

10. The Accuser of our Brethren
           Lord, forgive the leaders of our church for their laziness and ignorance

11. The Announcement Prayer
           Lord please be with our next Sunday potluck which will be held at the Anderson home at 3744 Ridgewood Way. That little cap cod house with the blue trimming. And please let all those with last names beginning with A-L remember that they bring a main dish and those beginning with K-Z remember to bring a side dish.

There are more types of prayerers at the Acts 17 website.

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