Monday, October 17, 2011
How not to pray
How Not to Pray - adapted by Wretched Radio
1. The Gossip
Lord, please forgive Larry here for cheating on his lovely wife, she must be heartbroken
2. The Theologian
Lord, you are immutable, omniscient, triune . . .
3. The Bore
Lord, I just pray for my stamp collection. Please help me find my lost . . .
4. The Lecturer
Lord, forgive this congregation for failing to meet the offering budget again.
5. The Sons of Thunder
Lord, smite that woman who cut me off on the way here with your scorching rebuke
6. The KJV Only Prayerer
We beseech Thee in Thine tabernacle to forgiveth the bowels of our iniquity
7. Praying Without Ceasing
You don't want this guy praying before dinner!
8. The Satanist
Satan, I take authority over you and bind you
9. Reverse Humility Guy
Lord, thank You for not letting me get too puffed up about being so good looking.
10. The Accuser of our Brethren
Lord, forgive the leaders of our church for their laziness and ignorance
11. The Announcement Prayer
Lord please be with our next Sunday potluck which will be held at the Anderson home at 3744 Ridgewood Way. That little cap cod house with the blue trimming. And please let all those with last names beginning with A-L remember that they bring a main dish and those beginning with K-Z remember to bring a side dish.
There are more types of prayerers at the Acts 17 website.