Some Benefits of Prayer

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.

When I sing this particular verse of this hymn, I can't help but close my eyes and bow my head in shame because it is true. So easily do I just wander away from Him. And I don't think I do it on purpose. It is more like a boat that isn't anchored that just floats away and just heads in all kinds of directions. Never on purpose, but always surrendering to its circumstance. Thankfully, whether I feel lost or floating about in my spiritual life, the truth is that He is the One who has me anchored to Himself and I am assured that He will never let me go. (John 10:29)

One way that I feel anchored again (remembering that regardless of my feelings, my salvation doesn't ebb away) is through prayer. And I know that sounds so "cliche" and so easy of a fix, but truly there is nothing (outside of Scripture) that hones in my heart to match His as prayer can do.

Prayer sifts out my sin.
When life gets busy, sin can easily hide. When life gets idle, sin comes out to play. Regardless if I am confessing a besetting sin or if the Holy Spirit is revealing one to me, prayer allows me to be more aware of the sin that grieves God and brings me to the cross gladdening my heart for He is always faithful to forgive. (James 5:16)

Prayer brings me to the throne
When I think that I am approaching the King of kings in prayer and I am not going to die I am left speechless. There are no words to describe that a Gentile woman can enter the Holy of Holies and worship. (Heb. 4:16) Prayer allows me to worship Him privately.

Prayer reminds me that I have love to give
When I read my prayer list and pray for those on it, I am reminded of people who are hurting, lonely, lost or feeling loss. It triggers me to make a phone call, bake some cookies, write a letter, type out a text, send a facebook message, or make a house visit. Prayer beckons me to be His hands, feet, shoulders, arms and voice.

Prayer softens my heart
Some people are hard to love and some people are even harder. When I honestly pray for those that hurt me or those that hurt the people I love, God does something amazing. He softens my heart towards them and they begin to have less control over me and my feelings. And in the rare occasions when I have trouble "forgiving", God always reminds me of the dastardly things He has forgiven me for already. :)

Prayer is therapeutic
My overbearing mother, my passive father, my annoyance with my ex-husband, the attitudes of my children, my lack of wanting intimacy, my self-esteem, that thing I do that I don't want to mention here and so, so much more; I have brought to God. And He truly has helped me figure so much out. It is through prayer that we are given wisdom. (James 1:5) So many times I have come to God bawling my eyes out, completely overtaken by despair, and patiently He has brought to mind Scripture that overtakes my moments of sorrow or pain. I have also come to him lost, in a rage, scared for my life, indecisive, numb, depressed, raw and feeling so many other things. I have also been given the peace that transcends understanding, and it was always after time spent with Him in prayer. (Phil. 4:7) Who better to tell me about myself and how to handle a certain situation than the One who created me and was with me throughout my entire life? (Jer. 33:3)

I want to encourage you to take time to pray. If you are not sure how to, Jesus Himself teaches us how to pray in Matthew 6:5-15. Also we can read Jesus' prayer before he was captured in John 17. And what is so amazing about this prayer is that in it you can read where Jesus is praying for you!!!!! (see verses 20-21 of that same chapter), and He is still praying for you! The Son of God prays for you! So let us imitate Him and pray.


 . . . . For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ~ Romans 8: 26-27

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert - Book Review

Ever since I heard the testimony of Rosaria Butterfield, I just fell in love with her. I spent a couple of days looking her up on youtube and other sites and just listening to what she had to say. When I found out that Mrs. Butterfield wrote an autobiography, I just had to read it, so I added her book to my Christmas list and I got it. Needless to say, I read the book in two days!

On youtube and other sites, a lot of the focus of her testimony is that she was a lesbian, Marxist progressive and that she no longer is now. Although that is important, there is just so much more to her than her past lesbianism. In her book she does mention her life before Jesus, but she also speaks vulnerably about her transformation into a repenting Christian and even mentions her current sin issues and how horrible they are to a Holy God. Rosaria beautifully speaks of the struggles in the life of a Christian. My sins, the currents ones I am committing as I write, God hates; but because of the trust I have on the work of the Cross, I can boldly approach this Holy God and plead for forgiveness, and because He is faithful to forgive, I can jump for joy that He is a great God! She also reveals the Gospel in such a way that it just grabs me by the hand and takes me along for a journey in getting to know this forgiving God! Rosaria's story (like all Christians) doesn't stop once she converts!

I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that she also wrote about worshiping God through hospitality. She mentions the lack of hospitality among Christians and the plenitude of it among the LGBT. And I had to agree with her. Why are we quick to look the other way when someone needs attention or even just a hug? Why do we not open our doors enough to the wretched, the ugly or the lost? Why do I turn up my nose to the depressed, the emotionally needy, the poor, the pill poppers and the losers? What is the point of my candle light shining in an already lit room? Have I forgotten the mire of where I came from and where I still continue to go?

A specific sentence she wrote really captured my attention. On page 24 she says that looking back at pictures of herself, she no longer recognizes herself. Am I transforming in my Christian life that much that I too do not recognize myself? My life before my conversion was despicable. But am I continuing to change to become more and more like my Savior. Am I different from the person I was last year or even last month? Or do I still continue with my same sins, not caring about the monotony of my daily besetting transgressions?

I loved this book! And I recommend it to all Christians! I do not want you to think for a second that this book is only for those struggling with same-sex addictions or inclinations! It is not! It is for the Christian who struggles with hypocrisy (me). It is for the Christian who feels that God cannot heal him from a besetting sin (me also). It is for the Christian who is at peace with their holiness (the self-righteous). It is also for the lost. It is for all of us.

I also want to tell you that the book is not graphic. There is nothing obscene or tasteless in the book, unless words like "drag queen" or "butch" offend you. Not once did I flinch, or think she had crossed a line. Rosaria does well writing her autobiography in a way that exalts her Savior, not her sins (past or present).

I leave you with several excerpts from her book:

Undisciplined taste will always lead to egregious sin - slowly and almost imperceptibly. (pg30)

 In regards to evangelism - The integrity of our relationships matters more than the boldness of our words. (pg. 48)

I felt and feel no solidarity with people who think their salvation makes them more worthy than others. (pg. 81)

People whose lives are riddled with unrestrained sin act like rebellious children. Sin, when unrestrained, infatilizes a person. (pg. 108)

We in the church tend to be more fearful of the (perceived) sin in the world than of the sin in our own hearts. Why is that? (pg. 115)

Our plans are not sacred. (pg. 126)

You can help, but only Jesus can heal. (pg. 146)

There is so much more in this book, but I want to leave it to you to discover on your own. You can buy this book here!

The King's Curse - Book Review

King Henry VIII was never a favorite monarch of mine. I really do not believe he reformed the church do to Scriptural conviction, but more out of convenience. He desperately needed an heir and the Catholic Church was in the way. His father's greatest fear was that his line would die out and I am sure that fear was passed on to his children. In the book "The King's Curse", I just hate Henry more. He was a despicable man. The story is told from the view point of Margaret Pole, countess of Salisbury. Her father was the brother of Edward IV. This book is excellent! Philippa Gregory, the author, really captured the constant ebbing and flowing of fear and peace that was the reign of Henry VIII among those that may be a threat to the throne. No body was safe with him, not even his own children. Even though I knew how Margaret died, the book still gripped me and I anxiously waited the ending. This book was a great book and one of my favorites that Ms. Gregory has written. This book is the last in the series of the Cousins' War Series.

To the Christian: The Reformation is in its infancy during this era. The struggle between tradition and Scripture was almost at its boiling point. Margaret Pole is Catholic and I do feel sorry for her because  Henry's "reform" utterly destroys the practices that have been a part of her faith for centuries. It brings homelessness and destitution to the monks and nuns that have spent their lives in cloister. I believe he does these atrocities not in the name of God, but to satiate his power hungry ambition. During this time, Henry burns at the stake William Tyndale, a man that translated the Bible into English, so that all may partake and read Scripture.

There is no explicit content in the book.

You can buy this book here

Lamentations, Poetic Pain

Lamentations is only 5 chapters long, but the imagery in those chapters is brutal. Restlessness, women boiling and eating their children, bones breaking and flesh rotting, crying so much that bile pours out of his mouth, children dying of hunger, fainting babies and it goes on and on. What despair!! All these consequences because warning after warning came from Jeremiah and the people did not heed! Jeremiah warned the people of Israel to turn from their wicked ways. To stop the idolatry, the prostitution, the filthy and abominable sins they were committing; but they didn't. And because they didn't take Jeremiah seriously it was as if they were not taking God seriously. Lamentations is a small book of graphic imagery of the harvest Israel has reaped. In the middle of the book the prophet does speak of the hope of God's faithfulness and mercy. And eventually it does come, but the present state of Israel is haunting. In the midst of all this horror Jeremiah knows the punishment is just (1:18) and that God is in the right to bring this turmoil on His people.

But even when all seems lost these verses appear to comfort:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are

new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (3:22-23)

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion

according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not

afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men (3:31-33

After this moment of reprieve from the devastation Jeremiah again begins to speak of how the people of Israel have behaved and he explains why they suffer so much.

The book ends reminding us who is on the Throne and who truly is in control (5:19). And the last verses hope for restoration.

To the Christian: In the middle of our pain or our trial - regardless if it is the Lord disciplining us or refining us - we do have hope. We also have no other option but to trust His Sovereignty and His wisdom in using our circumstance for our good. He is a good Father. He is merciful. He is compassionate, even if our eyes are swollen from too many tears or if our throat is raw from crying in despair. Child of God, do you not know that He sent His Son to die for you, to pay the debt you could not pay, even though there was nothing in you that pleased Him? We are bound to spend eternity with Him, and these trials will come to an end one day. And there will be no more tears, or cries of despair. None. Death will be swallowed up. We have that hope. And in the end if that is all we have, then it is more than enough.

The Queen's Vow - Book Review

I will admit that I do not know much of Queen Isabella. I knew she was a warrior queen and that her youngest daughter, Catalina married Henry the VIII of England. I also knew that she promoted the Spanish Inquisition and the forced exile of the Jews. She also fought the Moor and expanded her kingdom with the marriage to Ferdinand and through war with the "infidel". So needless to say, I went into this book with my own biases of this queen. When I thought of Isabella of Castile, I thought of a strong powerful monarch in her own right; but after reading this book, I really didn't get that out of her. She seems to have minded Ferdinand and her religious leaders more than what she wanted to. In the book, she really doesn't want to begin the Inquisition, but Ferdinand and Talavera (her confessor) coax her into it. She really doesn't want to force conversion of the Jews, but again she is influenced to do so. She really doesn't want to throw out the Conversos (Jews that have  converted to the Catholic faith) but again she does so against her moral judgement. It's like the author wants you to like her and think of her as a tolerable monarch, but because of circumstances, she had no other choice but to do the dirty work of the Church. I really believe Isabella knew what she was doing to her people and did so in the name of God. I believe she (like all monarchs of that time) thought of herself as anointed by God to do His will and that will was to bring reform, holiness and obedience no matter the cost.  I believe she brought order and fear to her people. 

Unfortunately, in this book, she didn't seem to have too much depth. She seemed more tame that what I had imagined her to be. She seemed more agreeable than strong-willed. She seemed out of her league in war and looked outright stupid in a particular war scene in the book. 

I do not know how historically correct this book is, but my romanticized view of a strong, independent warrior queen was really broken with this book. Isabella's best friend Beatriz and even King Enrique IV's wife, Juana seem to have more spirit that Isabella herself. 

Even the cover of this book is disappointing. Isabella was a blonde with blue eyes - a true Tratamaran, but in the cover of the book she looks more French or Moorish. Overall, I really didn't like the book.

To the Christian: Thankfully, this book leaves a lot to the imagination when it comes to sexual encounters. There are slight references to homosexual pedophilia, but nothing at all vivid. There is adultery and children born out of wedlock. The intimacy between Isabella and Ferdinand is not vulgar or graphic. There are no bad words. 
                                     Reading this book strengthens my belief on how important it is to read the Bible and obey it and to properly interpret it. So much pain could be averted if we just did what it said. Isabella didn't need to force conversion on anyone to win God's favor. God is our Potter and He does with His creation what He wishes. Isabella and the Church tried in vain to do the work of the Holy Spirit. Nowhere in the Bible are people forced to conversion by other people. God does that work and turns a  heart of stone into a heart of flesh. Not one disciple brought harm to his enemy. On the contrary, Jesus showed them to pray for your enemy and do good to those that hurt you. She did a lot in the "name of God", but it wasn't the God of the Bible. While reading the book, I remember thinking, "Where did you get that from Scripture, Isabella"; "no, that's not what that means at all!". Isabella and her Church didn't interpret Scripture correctly and allowed their own biases to twist Scripture. In an age of so much information, we have no excuse to "not know better". 

Jeremiah - The Suffering Prophet

I just finished the book of Jeremiah, and honestly it was difficult to read. Besides the "Jeremiah said,'The Lord said "Thus says the Lord . .. . "'', this book is very despairing. Countless of times Jeremiah warns and exclaims and again warns Israel and Judah to repent, and they refuse to. Several times there is a glimmer of hope that they will obey, but at the end of the day, they follow their own advice and God proceeds in punishing them for their outright unfaithfulness. God sends the Babylonians to capture and besiege their city. The books ends with the King of Israel witnessing the murder of his family and then having his eyes bored out. Jeremiah is taken as a captive and continues to wail and weep for God's people to repent. In Jeremiah's next writings (Lamentations) I have begun to read the poetic pain of this prophet of God.

Reading Jeremiah in large chunks, the infamous verse in 29:11 takes on a new meaning than what it means if it stands alone. The previous 28 chapters God is crushing Israel and Judah. He is punishing them for their blatant disobedience, but despite that He gives them hope that He will eventually prosper them (their descendants).

Jeremiah sounds like Job when he curses the day of his birth. This man is in utter despair because of the sins and lack of repentance of his people . . . .

Am I anything like Jeremiah? Do I weep and pray on my knees for the lost? Do I despair at the sight of so much sin and bring that despair to my Lord? Or do I self-righteously think that they are beyond salvation? Do I weep over my own sin?

Counter Culture by Davit Platt

When we ask Christians what they think about ending sex trafficking or poverty or the helping the orphans, most will agree that these causes are worth fighting for. Most will voice their opinions about how we as Christians should do something about these things and most will not expect much rebuttal or disagreement. But why does the conversation get a little tense and the lines get a little blurry when those same Christians have a conversation about same sex marriage and/or abortion?

In his book Counter Culture,  David Platt challenges us to be passionate not only for the issues that are popular or where everyone is on the bandwagon, but also for those issues that may ostracize us from our friends and family and maybe even our church.

Mr. Platt starts off the book stating the obvious that we seem to forget when dealing with any sin and that is that we have a problem with a statement like: "There is a God who sustains, owns, defines, rules, and one day will judge you." (pg. 3) The natural man's reaction to this is to be offended by such a statement. Deep down we just want to do what we want and we will collaborate, manipulate, interpret, make excuses, etc just to be our own god and get our own way.

Mr. Platt speaks on all the issues (easy and difficult ones) and lovingly and respectfully explains using God's Word and other information where Christians need to start when dealing with them. Like all the books I have read by him, he uses examples to help the reader understand how important it is for the Christian not to idly stand by as so many evils are happening. At the end of every chapter he guides the reader on what to pray for, where to get more information and what he/she can do start doing something. He also includes eye-opening statistics that made me cringe some times.

Here are some excerpts I highlighted and wanted to share with you:

Regarding abortion he gave this statistic: an estimated 92% of all women who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome choose to terminate their pregnancies.  (pg 67)

Regarding orphan, widow and foster care: "For we are not rescuers giving our lives and families to save orphans and widows in need; instead, we are the rescued whose lives have been transformed at our deepest point of need." (pg 104)

Regarding racism he cited this verse: "From one man (God) made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. Acts 17:26 NIV"

Regarding illegal and legal immigration he says: "The gospel compels us in our culture to decry any and all forms of oppression, exploitation, bigotry, or harassment of immigrants, regardless of their legal status. These are men and women for whom Christ died and their dignity is no greater or lesser than our own." (pg 205)

Regarding religious liberty. David Platt along with other religious leaders of different faiths (Judaism, Islam, Hinduism) signed a document expressing their convictions of religioius liberty. This is what part of the document said. While Mr. Platt strongly disagrees with them, he joined with them to protect our religious freedom. The end of the document these men signed says this:
"We will not . . . bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriages or the equivalent, or refrain from proclaiming the truth, as we know it, about morality and immorality and marriage and the family. We will fully and ungrudgingly render to Caesar what is Caesar's. But under no circumstance will we render to Caesar what is God's." (pg. 222)

Regarding religious liberty: Tolerance implies disagreement. I have to disagree with you in order to tolerate you. (pg 225)

Life for the Christian living in the U.S. has changed. Mr. Platt warns: Gone are the days when it was socially beneficial to be in church at the beginning of the week. Gone are the days when it was publicly accepted to follow Christ every other day of the week. Here are the days when holding fast to the gospel, actually believing the Bible, and putting it into practice will mean risking your reputation, sacrificing your social status, disagreeing with your closest family and friends, jeopardizing your economic security and earthly stability, giving away your possessions, leaving behind the accolades of the world, and (depending on where and how God leads you) potentially losing your life. (pg240)

I strongly recommend this book!

We should love our enemies, we should bless those that persecute us, but we should not dilute the truth that ALL OF US are in need of Savior. That ALL have sinned and fall short. That ALL struggle with sins that are heinous to a HOLY God. And that the Gospel IS GOOD NEWS.

Mr. Platt does make an interesting statement towards the end of his book. He speaks about the overflowing amount of Bible knowledge that the U.S. has and how even with so many Bibles, so many seminaries, so many churches, we seem to be more blind and more deaf to the Gospel. He speaks that maybe it is because we need to go OUT of the U.S. and into other countries where the Gospel seed will land on fertile soil. I couldn't help but ask myself if God is allowing us to wallow in our sin and has hardened the hearts of many?

The last sentence of the book is this: He (God) has called you to himself, he has saved you by his Son, he has filled you with his Spirit, he has captured you with his love, and he is compelling you by his Word to counter our culture by proclaiming his Kingdom, not worried about what it will cost you because you are confident that God himself is your great reward. (pg. 254)

There is so much more in this book that I could share! Like every other book of his, I was challenged to do something with my faith. This book will not make you feel good, or will not help someone with  low self-esteems or make you richer. It doesn't give you advice on how to make friends. On the contrary, it challenges you to go against the grain, to counter the culture that has normalized so many things God calls sin.You will lose friends, you will not be popular, you will "lose" money. But what do those things matter, it was never about you (me) anyway.

You can buy this book here