The Doctrine of Repentance - Audio Book Review

This book was published in 1668 and written by Thomas Watson. When reading older books, I am always a bit hesitant in reading them because I am fearful that I will not understand some of the details because of the older English vernacular. Thankfully, this wasn't the case in this edition. 

It never ceases to amaze me just how much we still have in common with people throughout the generations. The spiritual struggles Christians had in the 1600's are the same ones that we have today. As an "old soul" I tend to think that people were nicer in previous generations, but I have found that people are people and there is nothing new under the sun. 

In this book, Mr. Watson is very organized. He makes out different lists on how to identify an unrepentant spirit, or how to apply repentance daily and even how to combat sin.  He also uses every day life to help the reader understand the point he is trying to make, and his word usage to compare and contrast is quote worthy. 

I also appreciated all the Bible citations he gave after many of his sentences. He made his case for what he was saying by going back to the Bible. The opinions and advise he gave were founded not on his own wisdom, but on Scripture. Many times, I remembered a citation and went back to read it and it was as he had said.

Because of so many citations and so many quote worthy sentences, I do not recommend this book to be listened to as an audio book. This book is meant to be read and highlighted. Maybe, from now on, I will only use Audible for fiction. Thankfully there is a "bookmark" link on Audible where if I hear something I like, I can "bookmark" it and then go back to it later.

Here are some of those compare and contrast quotes I was talking about:

The more regret we have first at our conversion, the less we'll feel afterwards.

Speaking about the Apostle Paul: He had persecuted saints to death before, now he preached sinners to life. 

Someone who can believe without doubting should suspect his faith, and someone who can repent without sorrowing should suspect his repentance.

On temptation: Is he not a fool who would believe a temptation and not a promise.

So as God has two places where He dwells - Heaven and a humble heart. So does Satan have two places where he dwells - Hell and a hard heart.

And here is a quote that explains repentance with word pictures:

Blessed repentance that has so much sugar at the bottom of the bitter cup!

 The key to personal awakening and revival is repentance and the elation of forgiveness. Believe it or not it is also the key to joy. For when I am truly repentant because I have offended God, I find joy in His forgiveness. When I am repentant I can't judge hypocritically, for I too am a sinner. I can't hate what is done to me, for I have done far worse to the most Holy One. I can't sit idly by and do nothing for my neighbor, for He has done so much for me to be able to grant me forgiveness. I can't hate, for I am loved. I can't complain, for I am grateful.

Thomas Watson

So much in my Christian walk would change if I would just practice repentance daily. This book has helped me to see that. Mr. Watson has so many illustrations and breaks down what he is trying to say so well. His examples of how to apply this and why we should apply repentance are so helpful and clear. He just makes logical sense throughout the whole book. I remember several times just being astounded when he made a point and then clarified it with a reasoned analogy. 

The book is actually about 128 pages, so it could be read in one day. And as I researched more I found he wrote several other small books about different topics.  If you would like a list of the books he has written click here.  

I recommend that every Christian read at least one book by Thomas Watson. This was a beautifully written book. His grasp on the English language and his thoughtfulness in regards to Scripture is profound. 

As I read more on him, I found out that he died suddenly while in private prayer. What a way to die! A thought that came to mind when I read that was that I don't even pray that much to be caught dead doing it. What are the odds of that for me, much less than Mr. Watson's or many other strong Christians?

The book is available free here.  Or you may also buy it here. 

 

Calvary Road - Book Review

This is a book I am going to keep in my purse and just be constantly reading. It is a book on how we can have continual revival as Christians and by default, in the church. This book has really changed a lot of my perspectives on peace, loving others and confession. Never in my Christian life had I thought about living constantly in a Spirit-filled state. Never! As many, I thought there were low times and high times, and according to this book, that is not the case.

The book focuses on what revival is and how the church can experience revival. The books says that revival begins individually and slowly spreads (sometimes quickly) from you to other believers in your church.

There are no secret formulas, no to-do lists or 5 point lessons. It is all quiet and personal. Here is a quote:

You and I full of the Holy Spirit all the time, loving others and concerned for their salvation. No struggling, no tarrying. Just simply giving Him each sin to cleanse in His precious blood and accepting from His hand the free gift of His fullness, and the allowing Him to do the work through us. . .  There is nothing spectacular about this life, no emotional experiences to sigh after and wait for. It is just plain day to day living the life the Lord intended us to live. This is real holiness. 

The book emphasizes that when we love God we cannot help but to love others. And these loves cannot be separated. It says that the outcome of loving God comes the natural outflow of love towards those made in His image. Mr. Hession goes on to say: Our relationship with our fellows and our relationship with God are so linked that we cannot disturb one without disturbing the other. 

The awareness of our sin and the confession of it, is also something the book speaks a lot of in order to have revival. According to the book, "sin is the only thing that hinders the revival of His Church". What a convicting statement! This book forced me to take time to sit and have the Holy Spirit help me look into my heart and purge the sin in my life. I spent a whole prayer session just confessing my sin to God. There was just so much there. Tears came to my face as I thought of my dastardly deeds. And peace soon came upon me as I placed my trust again on the Cross. Living in a constant state of peace also is an attainable goal. And the lack of peace in our lives, Hession states, is a very good indicator of unconfessed sin in our lives. He says: ". . . the sign of the Spirit's presence and fullness will be peace. This is indeed to be the test of our walk all the way along. Le the peace of God rule [arbitrate] in your hearts" (Col. 3:15) . . . if our peace is broken, then it can only be because of sin.

Our church is seeking revival and this book was recommended by my pastor. It has changed my Christian life and I hope it changes yours. I recommend this book to all Believers. It is a very short book also and can be read in one sitting. My version of the book was only 114 pages. Be sure to have a pen or highlighter near by though because there are a lot of sections that are very insightful. My husband bought about 10 of these books and gave them out as gifts. If you would like to purchase this book, I found a pretty good deal here.

Some Benefits of Prayer

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.

When I sing this particular verse of this hymn, I can't help but close my eyes and bow my head in shame because it is true. So easily do I just wander away from Him. And I don't think I do it on purpose. It is more like a boat that isn't anchored that just floats away and just heads in all kinds of directions. Never on purpose, but always surrendering to its circumstance. Thankfully, whether I feel lost or floating about in my spiritual life, the truth is that He is the One who has me anchored to Himself and I am assured that He will never let me go. (John 10:29)

One way that I feel anchored again (remembering that regardless of my feelings, my salvation doesn't ebb away) is through prayer. And I know that sounds so "cliche" and so easy of a fix, but truly there is nothing (outside of Scripture) that hones in my heart to match His as prayer can do.

Prayer sifts out my sin.
When life gets busy, sin can easily hide. When life gets idle, sin comes out to play. Regardless if I am confessing a besetting sin or if the Holy Spirit is revealing one to me, prayer allows me to be more aware of the sin that grieves God and brings me to the cross gladdening my heart for He is always faithful to forgive. (James 5:16)

Prayer brings me to the throne
When I think that I am approaching the King of kings in prayer and I am not going to die I am left speechless. There are no words to describe that a Gentile woman can enter the Holy of Holies and worship. (Heb. 4:16) Prayer allows me to worship Him privately.

Prayer reminds me that I have love to give
When I read my prayer list and pray for those on it, I am reminded of people who are hurting, lonely, lost or feeling loss. It triggers me to make a phone call, bake some cookies, write a letter, type out a text, send a facebook message, or make a house visit. Prayer beckons me to be His hands, feet, shoulders, arms and voice.

Prayer softens my heart
Some people are hard to love and some people are even harder. When I honestly pray for those that hurt me or those that hurt the people I love, God does something amazing. He softens my heart towards them and they begin to have less control over me and my feelings. And in the rare occasions when I have trouble "forgiving", God always reminds me of the dastardly things He has forgiven me for already. :)

Prayer is therapeutic
My overbearing mother, my passive father, my annoyance with my ex-husband, the attitudes of my children, my lack of wanting intimacy, my self-esteem, that thing I do that I don't want to mention here and so, so much more; I have brought to God. And He truly has helped me figure so much out. It is through prayer that we are given wisdom. (James 1:5) So many times I have come to God bawling my eyes out, completely overtaken by despair, and patiently He has brought to mind Scripture that overtakes my moments of sorrow or pain. I have also come to him lost, in a rage, scared for my life, indecisive, numb, depressed, raw and feeling so many other things. I have also been given the peace that transcends understanding, and it was always after time spent with Him in prayer. (Phil. 4:7) Who better to tell me about myself and how to handle a certain situation than the One who created me and was with me throughout my entire life? (Jer. 33:3)

I want to encourage you to take time to pray. If you are not sure how to, Jesus Himself teaches us how to pray in Matthew 6:5-15. Also we can read Jesus' prayer before he was captured in John 17. And what is so amazing about this prayer is that in it you can read where Jesus is praying for you!!!!! (see verses 20-21 of that same chapter), and He is still praying for you! The Son of God prays for you! So let us imitate Him and pray.


 . . . . For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ~ Romans 8: 26-27

Lamentations, Poetic Pain

Lamentations is only 5 chapters long, but the imagery in those chapters is brutal. Restlessness, women boiling and eating their children, bones breaking and flesh rotting, crying so much that bile pours out of his mouth, children dying of hunger, fainting babies and it goes on and on. What despair!! All these consequences because warning after warning came from Jeremiah and the people did not heed! Jeremiah warned the people of Israel to turn from their wicked ways. To stop the idolatry, the prostitution, the filthy and abominable sins they were committing; but they didn't. And because they didn't take Jeremiah seriously it was as if they were not taking God seriously. Lamentations is a small book of graphic imagery of the harvest Israel has reaped. In the middle of the book the prophet does speak of the hope of God's faithfulness and mercy. And eventually it does come, but the present state of Israel is haunting. In the midst of all this horror Jeremiah knows the punishment is just (1:18) and that God is in the right to bring this turmoil on His people.

But even when all seems lost these verses appear to comfort:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are

new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (3:22-23)

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion

according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not

afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men (3:31-33

After this moment of reprieve from the devastation Jeremiah again begins to speak of how the people of Israel have behaved and he explains why they suffer so much.

The book ends reminding us who is on the Throne and who truly is in control (5:19). And the last verses hope for restoration.

To the Christian: In the middle of our pain or our trial - regardless if it is the Lord disciplining us or refining us - we do have hope. We also have no other option but to trust His Sovereignty and His wisdom in using our circumstance for our good. He is a good Father. He is merciful. He is compassionate, even if our eyes are swollen from too many tears or if our throat is raw from crying in despair. Child of God, do you not know that He sent His Son to die for you, to pay the debt you could not pay, even though there was nothing in you that pleased Him? We are bound to spend eternity with Him, and these trials will come to an end one day. And there will be no more tears, or cries of despair. None. Death will be swallowed up. We have that hope. And in the end if that is all we have, then it is more than enough.

Diary of David Brainerd - Book Review

My pastor challenged all in our church who have gone or would like to go on a mission trip to read at least one book of  the life of a missionary. He mentioned a book on kindle that was actually free, so I downloaded it. The book is: "The Life and Diary of David Brainerd with Commentary by Jonathan Edwards".

I had heard of David Brainerd before and started reading. Talk about humbling!! At first it was very difficult to adjust to his utter wretchedness. I actually believed that the diary was beginning at a time in his life before he was saved and that he was writing about his feelings on the pangs of guilt and shame that sinners feel before they are saved. But as I kept on reading, I realized that this was just him. He was so in tune with his sin, so aware of his state that I couldn't help but to feel shame that I wasn't as serious about mine. Constantly, sometimes weeks at a time he would mention his corrupted person, and it would affect him so much that he would actually become physically sick. Here is a short excerpt of his diary on May 2, 1741:

"God was pleased this morning to give me such a sight of myself, as made me appear vile in my own eyes. I felt corruption stirring in my heart, which I could by no means suppress; felt more and more deserted; was exceeding weak, and almost sick with my inward trials"

There are moments when he feels better and praises God, but most of the time he is melancholic and suffers so much because of the sin in his life, his lack of holiness and this desperation of not doing enough for God.

He is also overcome with compassion for the lost. He longs for their salvation! He spends hours pleading to God for them. The prayers in his diary are full of anguish, self-examination, and fervency for holiness. I then look at my diary and it's so bland and emotionless.

April 13, 1743 he writes:
"My heart was overwhelmed within me; I verily thought I was the meanest, vilest, most helpless, guilty, ignorant, benighted creature living. And yet I knew what God had done for my soul, at the same time: though sometimes I was assaulted with damping doubts and fears, whether it was possible for such a wretch as I to be in a state of grace. "

Does the thought of grace for me cause me to question God "why did you choose me?" Not question Him on "how He could" but "why He did". When I am aware of my cesspool of a life, do I marvel at the wonder that God loves me!?!? Or have I forgotten the magnificent impact that redemption causes?

In this book, I also learned that David Brainerd went to Yale, but was expelled because he had called one of the professors a name. Not being able to go to school, he then was asked to preach to the Native Americans in New England. He begins his work with the Mohegan Indians at Kaunaumeek in New York in April of 1743 and he lovingly refers to them as "my people" in his diary.

Throughout the diary we read just how much he suffered physically. He mentions his sicknesses, his fevers, his aches and pains, his trouble eating and with his stomach. Several times he speaks of coughs that are accompanied by blood  (which actually started when he first entered college). He continues to work with different tribes and "nations" of Native Americans. Although we know he had much success with the Native Americans in their acceptance of the Gospel, you wouldn't know it by his diary. Mr. Brainerd was not at all the kind of man to boast. He praises God when he notices the Spirit working, but he always re-evaluates how he can further the kingdom even more amongst the Native Americans.

He loved the people that God sent him to. He desired for their salvation. As he preaches in different churches he is asked to become a pastor and refuses because of "his little flock" in the wilderness - as he calls them. He is endeared to them and on his death bed receives letters from them that bring him much joy of how well they are fairing in their spiritual walk. 

As the end of his life draws near, I just longed for him to die and be with God. He suffered tremendously the months before his death and he still continued to find something to do for the furthering of His Kingdom. Four months before his death he writes: "... death appeared inconceivably more desirable to me than a useless life.."

There is a recurring theme that somewhat haunts the whole diary and that is that he longs to be with God. David Brainerd died at the age of 29 and from the first entries of his diary we see he just wants to be with Him. Jonathan Edwards comments on David saying that " . . he generally made it one petition in his prayer, 'that we might not outlive our usefulness'".

I didn't know this, but Jonathan Edwards and David Brainerd knew each other. So much so that David died in Mr. Edwards home. Mr. Edwards' daughter Jerusha, nursed David Brainerd until he died. She died four months later of a fever. This is what her father, Jonathan Edward says in the commentary: "Since this, (the writing of the commentary of David Brainerd's diary)it has pleased a holy and sovereign God to take away this my dear child by death, on the 14th of February, next following, after a short illness of five days, in the eighteenth year of her age. She was a person of much the same spirit with Mr. Brainerd. She had constantly take care of and attended him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death; devoting herself to it with great delight because she looked on him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ.

I have heard it countless of times that as Christians, we should read biographies of other Christians, and I agree with that. The diary of David Brainerd really helped me to stop complaining. I sometimes feel too tired to work in ministry, but this man puts these feelings to shame! You will not come out happy, refreshed, or rejuvenated after reading this book. As a person, I don't struggle with depression. I tend to be a fairly happy person, and I am not known to be serious; but this book made me think a lot about that. God saving me brings me so much joy and the fact that He didn't have to save me changes my perspective on all things dire. I am saved to be eternally with Him and I don't deserve to be. But do I hate my sin that much? I just go so quickly to the Cross when I sin. I feel shame and quickly turn to the work of Jesus that saved me. I don't think about the slop I just fed on. I don't think about the $*** I just played with, it doesn't horrify me all the heaps of dung I prefer at moments instead of my Savior. I believe I should think on those things more, and I hope I do when I return to my sin.

I recommend this book to any true Christian.