The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert - Book Review

Ever since I heard the testimony of Rosaria Butterfield, I just fell in love with her. I spent a couple of days looking her up on youtube and other sites and just listening to what she had to say. When I found out that Mrs. Butterfield wrote an autobiography, I just had to read it, so I added her book to my Christmas list and I got it. Needless to say, I read the book in two days!

On youtube and other sites, a lot of the focus of her testimony is that she was a lesbian, Marxist progressive and that she no longer is now. Although that is important, there is just so much more to her than her past lesbianism. In her book she does mention her life before Jesus, but she also speaks vulnerably about her transformation into a repenting Christian and even mentions her current sin issues and how horrible they are to a Holy God. Rosaria beautifully speaks of the struggles in the life of a Christian. My sins, the currents ones I am committing as I write, God hates; but because of the trust I have on the work of the Cross, I can boldly approach this Holy God and plead for forgiveness, and because He is faithful to forgive, I can jump for joy that He is a great God! She also reveals the Gospel in such a way that it just grabs me by the hand and takes me along for a journey in getting to know this forgiving God! Rosaria's story (like all Christians) doesn't stop once she converts!

I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that she also wrote about worshiping God through hospitality. She mentions the lack of hospitality among Christians and the plenitude of it among the LGBT. And I had to agree with her. Why are we quick to look the other way when someone needs attention or even just a hug? Why do we not open our doors enough to the wretched, the ugly or the lost? Why do I turn up my nose to the depressed, the emotionally needy, the poor, the pill poppers and the losers? What is the point of my candle light shining in an already lit room? Have I forgotten the mire of where I came from and where I still continue to go?

A specific sentence she wrote really captured my attention. On page 24 she says that looking back at pictures of herself, she no longer recognizes herself. Am I transforming in my Christian life that much that I too do not recognize myself? My life before my conversion was despicable. But am I continuing to change to become more and more like my Savior. Am I different from the person I was last year or even last month? Or do I still continue with my same sins, not caring about the monotony of my daily besetting transgressions?

I loved this book! And I recommend it to all Christians! I do not want you to think for a second that this book is only for those struggling with same-sex addictions or inclinations! It is not! It is for the Christian who struggles with hypocrisy (me). It is for the Christian who feels that God cannot heal him from a besetting sin (me also). It is for the Christian who is at peace with their holiness (the self-righteous). It is also for the lost. It is for all of us.

I also want to tell you that the book is not graphic. There is nothing obscene or tasteless in the book, unless words like "drag queen" or "butch" offend you. Not once did I flinch, or think she had crossed a line. Rosaria does well writing her autobiography in a way that exalts her Savior, not her sins (past or present).

I leave you with several excerpts from her book:

Undisciplined taste will always lead to egregious sin - slowly and almost imperceptibly. (pg30)

 In regards to evangelism - The integrity of our relationships matters more than the boldness of our words. (pg. 48)

I felt and feel no solidarity with people who think their salvation makes them more worthy than others. (pg. 81)

People whose lives are riddled with unrestrained sin act like rebellious children. Sin, when unrestrained, infatilizes a person. (pg. 108)

We in the church tend to be more fearful of the (perceived) sin in the world than of the sin in our own hearts. Why is that? (pg. 115)

Our plans are not sacred. (pg. 126)

You can help, but only Jesus can heal. (pg. 146)

There is so much more in this book, but I want to leave it to you to discover on your own. You can buy this book here!